The body remembers. Stuffed until an event, a sound, a sight, a touch, a word, or a person awakens them. 


There’s this spot

In the deep crack

Where wall meets wall

And it’s so brown

That spot I mean

And I can’t turn my face

From that singular spot

My big mistake

Our not-so-little secret

The memory blurs

My mind escapes

My eyes stare at stain

As my thoughts run clear

A little blank canvas

My mind does become

The weight of the moment

Collapses it all

The slow whiny creak

Of his old favorite chair

Echoes in my memory

The flap flap slap

Of his not in public shoes

As he shimmers past

A chill down my spine

I notice his cough

I’m blinded by his smile

I’m losing myself

In the pools of brown

That adorn his cheeks

I take for granted

All the little nuances

I turn to ask you

I beg to share

I plead for minutes

I weep for hours

The beaten leather

Sits silent and lonely

Your presence is felt

Internally only

You left us here

With no forewarning

You abandoned me

With no look back

You devastated me

With no apology

One day I’ll understand

My moment of clarity

Until that moment comes

I am a slave to your memory

Bound and gagged

By the promise of another tomorrow

But tomorrow never came

You left us today

Your job wasn’t done, DAD

I catch a small waft

Of your unforgettable cologne

I want to crawl in your lap

While your chin sits

Scruffy on my head

A deep sigh of relief

A light hearted release

Nevermind, I’ll never understand

I’ll constantly doubt

Why did you leave

Why must I stay behind

Forever in my heart

Unable to let go

Of the only good advice

You imparted to me

The vapor begins to dissipate

The scent mostly gone

Out of focus becomes stain

Tuck it away says brain

Ally is a writer and friend of The Captain’s Pod.

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